i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
