I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
