dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
