Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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