all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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