Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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