Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
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I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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