If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
