I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
