All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize