Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's rum buckets o'clock
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
