Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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