Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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