so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
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He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
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Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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