And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you have to choose: penises or morals?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
