i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
