I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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