he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
