Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
