i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
