no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
