I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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