Can i not drive my cunt home
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
