no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
