I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
