i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
