i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
