So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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