is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
