She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
