Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
