He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
