i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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