Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
