i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
