There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she pinky promised me she was 18
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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