What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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