And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
