he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
