well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
