I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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