I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
