Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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