Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
