Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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