He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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