two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
