So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
