Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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