things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I forget how to act sober
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
