these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
