his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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