are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
