i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she peed on how many people?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
