I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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