it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
