you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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