oh god the rape fog is back!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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