a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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