Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
