yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
