I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
